Friday September 30th, 2005 Joke of the Day
Welcome to Los Angeles. Where it’s not the itching, it’s the burning that’s bothering us now.
Oh my God! Do you believe these fires?! In one day we’ve gone from a blue state to a red state.
In fact, there is so much smoke and soot in the air you can’t even see the smog.
People are doing whatever they can to stay safe. Like today William Shatner switched to an asbestos toupee.
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Today "The New York Times” reporter Judy Miller was released from jail. They had to release her to make room and Tom Delay.
President Bush is asking people to conserve gasoline and only drive when it is absolutely 100% necessary: for example, if you live in Los Angeles, stay off the freeway unless you have to shoot somebody.
According to the national enquirer, president bush has started drinking again. You know who I feel sorry for, Barbara Bush. Her son’s hitting the bottle and her husband’s hanging out with Bill Clinton. She’s the one who should be drinking.
Meanwhile, Dick Cheney and his oil company buddies are going to appear on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
A White House spokesman has announced that Dick Cheney’s recovery is exceeding his doctor’s expectations. Which means – he’s still alive.
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