There is a whole new dimension emerging in online advertising that allows bloggers to generate some income by reviewing other sites. The new site on the market that captures this in full capacity after PayPerPost.com is Review Me.
Review Me allows advertisers to choose from several blogs submitted by the publishers. The advertisers can see information about the blogs like their user rankings, alexa ranking, technorati details, and the recent posts the blogger has participated in.
The site has a promising future because it simulates the link buying and buzz creating process the way google loves it. By that I mean when the blogger is posting the review he is likely to give a natural link to the site with proper keywords around it.
It is a great new source of revenue for bloggers because it allows them to make some money from the actual posts in addition to the ads they show on their blogs. If the bloggers do a good job in the review they will get higher ratings from the advertisers and in turn get more orders.
Since reviewme.com just launched recently it will take a little while for the opportunities to arrive for the bloggers but once it all sets in reviewme.com could become a great addition to sites that currently rely on contextual advertisers like Google Adsense.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Short Jokes
Conan O' Brian Jokes
Yesterday in a speech President Bush called Dr. Martin Luther King one of the greatest Americans to ever live. He went on to say, "How many people grow up to be a doctor and a king?”
A strange story out of New Orleans. Mayor Ray Naggin has caused a controversy by saying when New Orleans is rebuilt it will be a chocolate city. He also went on to say that the city will be protected by a system of graham cracker levees. Funny Jokes by Conan O' Brian.
Jay Leno Short Jokes
How many people watched "Nip/Tuck” last night? Or as we call it the Golden Globes.
The Golden Globes were last night. It was the biggest gathering of Hollywood celebrities that wasn’t an anti-Bush rally.
The big winners were "Brokeback Mountain”, "Capote” and "Transamerica”. All movies with gay themes. I think this is God’s way of punishing Pat Robertson.
On more serious news, there’s a rumor that we may have killed al Qaeda’s number two man. If it turns out to be true this will be the 387th time we have killed the number two man.
Did you see Kobe and Shaq hugging last night at the Lakers game? I guess the feud is over. If this can happen there can be peace in the Mideast.
Last time Kobe hugged anyone like that he had to buy his wife a diamond ring.
Former Vice-President Al Gore attacked the Bush administration’s use of wire-tapping and torture to combat terrorism. Gore said President Bush has created a police state. Ironically, even in a police state, Al Gore probably couldn’t get arrested.
Letterman Really Funny Jokes
Al Gore yesterday gave a speech an accused President Bush of repeatedly breaking the law. Al Gore issued the statement into a microphone at Taco Bell.
Did you watch the Golden Globes? They were so long that Dick Cheney taped it and is using it to torture detainees.
California executed the oldest death row inmate last night. He was 75 years old. CBS just lost another viewer. Really Funny Jokes by David Letterman.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Really Funny Short Jokes
New York City was brought to its knees by this strike. Which is why Bill Clinton moved there.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Do you like celebrity birthdays? A big one this weekend. Jesus!
Funny Joke of the Day
Bill Clinton did some caroling this week, he also did some Racheling and Michelling.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Really Funny Nightly Jokes
Jay Leno Short Jokes on Dec 5th, 05
In Texas, President Bush has been called for jury duty. He says he is going to serve. We want him to get out of Iraq. He can’t even get out of jury duty.
Actually, President Bush was pretty excited about being called until he found out it wasn’t for the Saddam Hussein trial.
President Bush came out again today for expanding his guest worker program. That’s the program where immigrants are eligible can take those low paying jobs no one wants. Like Dodgers manager.
This past weekend the United States held it’s 1000th execution. The USC-UCLA football game.
USC beat UCLA 66 to 19. I haven’t seen anything that lopsided since the last time I turned on Fox News.
66-19. Or as the University of Colorado calls it, a close game.
The only yardage UCLA gained all day was when their marching band took the field.
The President of Pakistan has announced that they have killed a top al-Qaeda leader. On the news they said that this leader ranked somewhere between the number three and the number five man. I’m going out on a limb here…wouldn’t that make him the number four guy.
The White House announced they sent out 1.4 million Christmas cards this year. When Bill Clinton was president, he sent out twice that number of cards. Of course, that was for Valentine’s Day.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Letterman
(Rerun) The hunting season in New York has begun. You can tell too – all the rats are wearing their orange vests.
I love hunting season. And what is more American than accidentally shooting your drinking buddy?
My son Harry turned two years old today! He now has a full head of hair. He no longer wets his pants. I am so jealous.
It’s still hard for me to believe I have a son. It’s still hard for him to believe I’m not his grandpa.
Short Funny Jokes
In Texas, President Bush has been called for jury duty. He says he is going to serve. We want him to get out of Iraq. He can’t even get out of jury duty.
Actually, President Bush was pretty excited about being called until he found out it wasn’t for the Saddam Hussein trial.
President Bush came out again today for expanding his guest worker program. That’s the program where immigrants are eligible can take those low paying jobs no one wants. Like Dodgers manager.
This past weekend the United States held it’s 1000th execution. The USC-UCLA football game.
USC beat UCLA 66 to 19. I haven’t seen anything that lopsided since the last time I turned on Fox News.
66-19. Or as the University of Colorado calls it, a close game.
The only yardage UCLA gained all day was when their marching band took the field.
The President of Pakistan has announced that they have killed a top al-Qaeda leader. On the news they said that this leader ranked somewhere between the number three and the number five man. I’m going out on a limb here…wouldn’t that make him the number four guy.
The White House announced they sent out 1.4 million Christmas cards this year. When Bill Clinton was president, he sent out twice that number of cards. Of course, that was for Valentine’s Day.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Letterman
(Rerun) The hunting season in New York has begun. You can tell too – all the rats are wearing their orange vests.
I love hunting season. And what is more American than accidentally shooting your drinking buddy?
My son Harry turned two years old today! He now has a full head of hair. He no longer wets his pants. I am so jealous.
It’s still hard for me to believe I have a son. It’s still hard for him to believe I’m not his grandpa.
Short Funny Jokes
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Nightly Jokes. Really Funny Clean Jokes
Monday Night November 7
Leno Daily Jokes
Did you all see that cruise ship on the news that was attacked by pirates? Wasn’t that something? They fired a cannon at it, they fired machine guns at it…look, I know Kathie Lee is annoying but that seems a little harsh.
Not looking good for President Bush’s popularity. It is now at thirty-nine percent. If he drops just three more points, he becomes a Democrat!
As you may have seen on the news, Vice President Dick Cheney’s Chief of Staff Scooter Libby is on crutches. He apparently hurt his foot when he took a fall for Karl Rove.
President Bush ordered the White House staff to attend ethics classes. Not a moment too soon.
You thought FEMA was late.
Republican Senator Charles Grassley…interesting man… has asked the oil companies to use some of the billions of dollars of profit they’ve made recently to help poor people buy home heating oil. That’s when you know you’re making too much money. When Republicans start noticing.
The oil companies said they would like to help the poor people but they need all that money to buy more senators.
Iraq is planning a 5 star hotel plus a theme park in what they’re expecting to be a future tourism boom. Boom being the key word here.
This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That’s like a record.
Things are so bad in France, they’re asking the Germans to come back.
The rioters are said to be upset because they are immigrants who have been treated poorly by the French. What? French people treating foreigners rudely? I can’t believe that – stop the presses. Join the club. Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Joke of the day.
Letterman
It was a big weekend in New York City. The marathon was held, it was a big day for Kenya – also known there as pay day.
It was a good marathon – only 12 people are missing.
Tomorrow is Election Day and Mayor Bloomberg is so confident that today he called Florida and told them to cancel the bringing the crooked voting machines.
It’s now the 11th day of rioting in France. Today President Bush said, "Not to worry. The full use of FEMA is on the way.”
President Bush is finishing up his tour of South America. There’s been protestors, unrest, jeering, angry crowds – it’s like he’s right at home.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Joke of the day.
Leno Daily Jokes
Did you all see that cruise ship on the news that was attacked by pirates? Wasn’t that something? They fired a cannon at it, they fired machine guns at it…look, I know Kathie Lee is annoying but that seems a little harsh.
Not looking good for President Bush’s popularity. It is now at thirty-nine percent. If he drops just three more points, he becomes a Democrat!
As you may have seen on the news, Vice President Dick Cheney’s Chief of Staff Scooter Libby is on crutches. He apparently hurt his foot when he took a fall for Karl Rove.
President Bush ordered the White House staff to attend ethics classes. Not a moment too soon.
You thought FEMA was late.
Republican Senator Charles Grassley…interesting man… has asked the oil companies to use some of the billions of dollars of profit they’ve made recently to help poor people buy home heating oil. That’s when you know you’re making too much money. When Republicans start noticing.
The oil companies said they would like to help the poor people but they need all that money to buy more senators.
Iraq is planning a 5 star hotel plus a theme park in what they’re expecting to be a future tourism boom. Boom being the key word here.
This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That’s like a record.
Things are so bad in France, they’re asking the Germans to come back.
The rioters are said to be upset because they are immigrants who have been treated poorly by the French. What? French people treating foreigners rudely? I can’t believe that – stop the presses. Join the club. Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Joke of the day.
Letterman
It was a big weekend in New York City. The marathon was held, it was a big day for Kenya – also known there as pay day.
It was a good marathon – only 12 people are missing.
Tomorrow is Election Day and Mayor Bloomberg is so confident that today he called Florida and told them to cancel the bringing the crooked voting machines.
It’s now the 11th day of rioting in France. Today President Bush said, "Not to worry. The full use of FEMA is on the way.”
President Bush is finishing up his tour of South America. There’s been protestors, unrest, jeering, angry crowds – it’s like he’s right at home.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Joke of the day.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Nightly Jokes for October 31st, 2005
Leno
Happy Halloween everybody! I’m not going trick or treating until Wednesday. Do you know why? I’m going to go as a FEMA worker.
What’s with this fun size candy now? Have you noticed, our Halloween candy is getting smaller and smaller yet our kids are getting fatter and fatter. How is that possible?
NBC didn’t do anything special for Halloween. If they want to get scared all they do is look at the networks ratings.
This is sad. Did you hear what Harriet Miers dressed up as tonight? A Supreme Court Justice. It was her only chance.
President Bush was asked how he came up with a conservative like Alito. Bush said he got the idea over the weekend while turning the clocks back.
As you know, over the weekend, people in the White House set their clocks back to Watergate.
Setting the clocks back of course means that the nights are now getting longer. More bad news for Scooter Libby.
Of course, the big question now is, what did President Bush know and when was it explained to him?
Anti war protestor, Cindy Sheehan said that she would tie herself up at the White House to get President Bush’s attention. Right idea, wrong president. I think that was more Bill’s kind of thing.
Letterman
(Rerun) Tonight Bill and Hillary Clinton celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. Bill showed up to the scene with former President Bush.
Bill planned out a nice quiet dinner for two at a seaside hotel. We don’t know where Hillary was.
Conan
(Rerun) CNN is reporting that Bill Gates, the richest man in the world has received a raise from Microsoft. Gates says that he is happy about the raise and now he can finally buy that Canada he’s had his eye on.
President Bush’s list of Supreme Court nominees is down to a list of 12 people – or as Bush says, "All my fingers and two toes.”
Geraldo is getting a new fall TV show. No word yet on the name of the show since "The Biggest Loser” is already taken.
Happy Halloween everybody! I’m not going trick or treating until Wednesday. Do you know why? I’m going to go as a FEMA worker.
What’s with this fun size candy now? Have you noticed, our Halloween candy is getting smaller and smaller yet our kids are getting fatter and fatter. How is that possible?
NBC didn’t do anything special for Halloween. If they want to get scared all they do is look at the networks ratings.
This is sad. Did you hear what Harriet Miers dressed up as tonight? A Supreme Court Justice. It was her only chance.
President Bush was asked how he came up with a conservative like Alito. Bush said he got the idea over the weekend while turning the clocks back.
As you know, over the weekend, people in the White House set their clocks back to Watergate.
Setting the clocks back of course means that the nights are now getting longer. More bad news for Scooter Libby.
Of course, the big question now is, what did President Bush know and when was it explained to him?
Anti war protestor, Cindy Sheehan said that she would tie herself up at the White House to get President Bush’s attention. Right idea, wrong president. I think that was more Bill’s kind of thing.
Letterman
(Rerun) Tonight Bill and Hillary Clinton celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. Bill showed up to the scene with former President Bush.
Bill planned out a nice quiet dinner for two at a seaside hotel. We don’t know where Hillary was.
Conan
(Rerun) CNN is reporting that Bill Gates, the richest man in the world has received a raise from Microsoft. Gates says that he is happy about the raise and now he can finally buy that Canada he’s had his eye on.
President Bush’s list of Supreme Court nominees is down to a list of 12 people – or as Bush says, "All my fingers and two toes.”
Geraldo is getting a new fall TV show. No word yet on the name of the show since "The Biggest Loser” is already taken.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
WOW - What a Story! Suicide? Or Murder?
Suicide? Or Murder? Or Suicide?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.
He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but his suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because of the safety net. This caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.
When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident, that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over both the loss of his financial support and the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth-story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS president Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide.
He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but his suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because of the safety net. This caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.
When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident, that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over both the loss of his financial support and the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth-story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Joke of the Day. Daily Jokes
Jay Leno Daily Jokes. Joke of the Day
President Bush has declared war on the bird flu. I don’t think he learns from his mistakes, like today he made a speech at a bird sanctuary in front of a big banner that said, "Mission accomplished!”
Funny Jokes.
Saddam Hussein went on trial today. I had no idea he worked in the Bush White House.
Really Funny Clean Jokes
The trial has begun. And Saddam’s lawyers say they will accept any judge except Harriet Miers. They don’t feel she is qualified.
Really Funny Clean Jokes
President Bush has declared war on the bird flu. I don’t think he learns from his mistakes, like today he made a speech at a bird sanctuary in front of a big banner that said, "Mission accomplished!”
Funny Jokes.
Saddam Hussein went on trial today. I had no idea he worked in the Bush White House.
Really Funny Clean Jokes
The trial has begun. And Saddam’s lawyers say they will accept any judge except Harriet Miers. They don’t feel she is qualified.
Really Funny Clean Jokes
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Funny Jokes. Short Really Clean Jokes. Humor
Leno. Really Funny Jokes from Daily Monologue. 10/18/05
Boy these rains are unbelievable. The gas station near my house had a flash flood yesterday. Luckily for the owner he was already up on the ladder changing the prices on his signs…so he is ok.
It hailed today! On Hollywood Boulevard it hailed. Of course, there was a panic. They thought it was raining crack.
There’s so much rain coming down. This morning on the 405 I saw a Minnesota Vikings sex cruise go by.
You know what I love about rain in Los Angeles? Driving to work in a downpour and seeing everyone’s sprinklers on in their front yards.
Well it looks like the bird flu may have jumped to humans. Last night a number of Astro fans became ill after coming into contact with Cardinals.
Congratulations to the White Sox. They could win their first World Series since 1917. Last year the Red Sox won for the first time since 1918. This year the White Sox could win for the first time since 1917. And next year the Cubs could – no, wait, they’re the Cubs, that’ll never happen.
Think about that, 1917, that was so long ago. Do you realize that was the year of Cher’s first farewell tour.
"US News and World Report” put out a breaking news flash that rumors are flying Vice President Dick Cheney might resign. Who’s going to be president now?
The Pentagon is reporting that we have captured Osama bin Laden’s barber. They are now interrogating him to find out what he knows. In fact, they say we are this close to finding out what that blue stuff is they soak the combs in.
The trial of Saddam Hussein gets underway this week in Iraq. The "E” channel is going to be recreating the trial every night using professional actors. The part of Saddam will be played by Bea Arthur.
Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff announced he plans to expel every illegal immigrant in this country. More bad news for the New York Yankees.
Letterman Really Funny Jokes.
The results from the Iraqi election are coming in and the Suni’s are claiming that the election was rigged. So looks like they got an American style democracy after all.
The Saddam Hussein Trial starts tomorrow. He’s on trial for the murder of 143 people. But the prosecutors did give him a break – they dropped the two counts of stealing satellite TV.
Saddam is the first ruthless cold blooded dictator to be on trial since…that’s right, Martha Stewart.
Boy these rains are unbelievable. The gas station near my house had a flash flood yesterday. Luckily for the owner he was already up on the ladder changing the prices on his signs…so he is ok.
It hailed today! On Hollywood Boulevard it hailed. Of course, there was a panic. They thought it was raining crack.
There’s so much rain coming down. This morning on the 405 I saw a Minnesota Vikings sex cruise go by.
You know what I love about rain in Los Angeles? Driving to work in a downpour and seeing everyone’s sprinklers on in their front yards.
Well it looks like the bird flu may have jumped to humans. Last night a number of Astro fans became ill after coming into contact with Cardinals.
Congratulations to the White Sox. They could win their first World Series since 1917. Last year the Red Sox won for the first time since 1918. This year the White Sox could win for the first time since 1917. And next year the Cubs could – no, wait, they’re the Cubs, that’ll never happen.
Think about that, 1917, that was so long ago. Do you realize that was the year of Cher’s first farewell tour.
"US News and World Report” put out a breaking news flash that rumors are flying Vice President Dick Cheney might resign. Who’s going to be president now?
The Pentagon is reporting that we have captured Osama bin Laden’s barber. They are now interrogating him to find out what he knows. In fact, they say we are this close to finding out what that blue stuff is they soak the combs in.
The trial of Saddam Hussein gets underway this week in Iraq. The "E” channel is going to be recreating the trial every night using professional actors. The part of Saddam will be played by Bea Arthur.
Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff announced he plans to expel every illegal immigrant in this country. More bad news for the New York Yankees.
Letterman Really Funny Jokes.
The results from the Iraqi election are coming in and the Suni’s are claiming that the election was rigged. So looks like they got an American style democracy after all.
The Saddam Hussein Trial starts tomorrow. He’s on trial for the murder of 143 people. But the prosecutors did give him a break – they dropped the two counts of stealing satellite TV.
Saddam is the first ruthless cold blooded dictator to be on trial since…that’s right, Martha Stewart.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Funniest Jokes
This got voted the funniest joke in the world!!
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He seems to have stopped breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"
Short Funny Jokes, Really Clean Jokes.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Funny Jokes
Leno Funny Jokes for October 11th, 2005
Huge wildfire broke out last night in Orange County. Twenty-five people were choking…no, I’m sorry, that was the New York Yankees.
Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes. Clean Funny Jokes.
Congratulations to the Angels. They beat the Yankees 5–3. The Yankees were so upset that right after the game, a lot of the Yankee pitchers caught the first raft home.
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
The FBI now says they are considering relaxing their drug policy on new applicants who want to join the FBI. If you’ve smoked marijuana it’s ok. You thought the FBI was losing stuff before! How bad are they gonna be when their high on weed?
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes. Humor.
So much for the war on drugs. I guess the new slogan is "if you can’t beat, join them!”
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Humor Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
The FBI will not hire you if you smoked pot more than 15 times in your life. Not today…but the good news, you can still be president…
Here’s my question, who picked the number 15? After a guy has smoked dope 8, 10, or 13 times it’s pretty obvious that he likes it. Are there a lot of stoners going, "Oh man, this is my 14th joint. No more for me dude. I’m joining the FBI.”
Pat Robertson said that all these earthquakes and hurricanes we’ve been having are indications of the second coming. To which President Bush said, why would Santa Claus be coming around Halloween? It doesn’t make any sense.
Harriet Miers told the "New York Times” that President Bush is the most brilliant man she knows. And Vice President Dick Cheney is the greatest athlete she’s ever met.
Over the weekend Hillary Clinton was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. However she is still not in Bill Clinton’s Women’s Hall of Fame. In fact, she is not even in the top ten.
Letterman Funny Jokes for October 11th, 2005
Bill and Hillary Clinton are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. Bill showed up at the scene of the celebration with former President Bush.
Bill had a nice candlelight dinner planned out at a seaside hotel. We don’t know where Hillary was though.
The New York Yankees were beaten of the playoffs by the Angels. George Steinbrenner isn’t messing around…today he ordered all his players back on steroids.
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Humor Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
Huge wildfire broke out last night in Orange County. Twenty-five people were choking…no, I’m sorry, that was the New York Yankees.
Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes. Clean Funny Jokes.
Congratulations to the Angels. They beat the Yankees 5–3. The Yankees were so upset that right after the game, a lot of the Yankee pitchers caught the first raft home.
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
The FBI now says they are considering relaxing their drug policy on new applicants who want to join the FBI. If you’ve smoked marijuana it’s ok. You thought the FBI was losing stuff before! How bad are they gonna be when their high on weed?
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes. Humor.
So much for the war on drugs. I guess the new slogan is "if you can’t beat, join them!”
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Humor Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
The FBI will not hire you if you smoked pot more than 15 times in your life. Not today…but the good news, you can still be president…
Here’s my question, who picked the number 15? After a guy has smoked dope 8, 10, or 13 times it’s pretty obvious that he likes it. Are there a lot of stoners going, "Oh man, this is my 14th joint. No more for me dude. I’m joining the FBI.”
Pat Robertson said that all these earthquakes and hurricanes we’ve been having are indications of the second coming. To which President Bush said, why would Santa Claus be coming around Halloween? It doesn’t make any sense.
Harriet Miers told the "New York Times” that President Bush is the most brilliant man she knows. And Vice President Dick Cheney is the greatest athlete she’s ever met.
Over the weekend Hillary Clinton was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame. However she is still not in Bill Clinton’s Women’s Hall of Fame. In fact, she is not even in the top ten.
Letterman Funny Jokes for October 11th, 2005
Bill and Hillary Clinton are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. Bill showed up at the scene of the celebration with former President Bush.
Bill had a nice candlelight dinner planned out at a seaside hotel. We don’t know where Hillary was though.
The New York Yankees were beaten of the playoffs by the Angels. George Steinbrenner isn’t messing around…today he ordered all his players back on steroids.
Clean Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes. Humor Jokes. Really Funny Jokes.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Funny Jokes
According to the "Wall Street Journal”, we may soon be able to vote for elections by telephone using a law passed back in 2002 called the "American Idol Act”.
"Really Funny Jokes". Short Funny Jokes. Clean Funny jokes. "Clean Jokes". Daily Jokes. "Joke of the Day"
Alaska’s state tourism association has a new ad campaign to encourage tourism. The slogan is "Visit alaska before you die.” Today Florida said, "Hey, that’s our slogan!”
"Really Funny Jokes". Short Funny Jokes. "Clean Jokes". Daily Jokes. "Joke of the Day". Clean Funny jokes.
That’s the slogan, visit Alaska before you die. Or you can see Alaska on Amtrak and do both.
"Really Funny Jokes". Joke of the Day". Short Funny Jokes. Clean Funny jokes. "Clean Jokes". Daily Jokes."
Friday, October 07, 2005
Joke of the Day
Leno Jokes 10/6/05
President Bush is out defending his Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers. President Bush said that Miers has a good heart. Well sure, compared to Dick Cheney.
Really Funny Jokes, Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes. "Joke of the Day"
This is national book month. Or as President Bush calls it, October.
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A Baptist church in Houston has opened up a McDonald’s. How fat are those gospel singers going to be?!
Clean Funny Jokes, Short Funny Jokes, "Joke of the Day". Really Funny Jokes
President Bush is out defending his Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers. President Bush said that Miers has a good heart. Well sure, compared to Dick Cheney.
Really Funny Jokes, Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes. "Joke of the Day"
This is national book month. Or as President Bush calls it, October.
Short Funny Jokes. Joke of the Day. Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
A Baptist church in Houston has opened up a McDonald’s. How fat are those gospel singers going to be?!
Clean Funny Jokes, Short Funny Jokes, "Joke of the Day". Really Funny Jokes
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Short Jokes
Well it's finally autumn in Los Angeles. It’s the time where the leaves turn red--because they're on fire! Short Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
These fires! Earlier today, I saw a guy selling maps to where the stars homes used to be.
The firemen called today and said they were able to save your crops. I don’t know what that means. "Joke of the Day"
The fires in the valley, it like they started all at once. All over the valley. You don’t think this is part of the government's war on pornography, did you ever think of that?
On MSNBC the other night, Alabama State Senator Hank Erwin said he believes the hurricanes that hit New Orleans were sent by God to punish people for sin, gambling and wickedness. That's crazy, God doesn't send hurricanes to punish people - he sends FEMA. Short Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
Well there’s a new hurricane that hit Mexico on this past Saturday. The good news, nobody had to evacuate because they’re already here. "Joke of the Day"
Rumor has it that President Bush has started drinking again. Do you know what that means...all the decisions he’s made up until now...he’s been sober. "Joke of the Day"
According to "People” magazine, Lance Armstrong paid $10,000 for his dog to have open heart surgery. The dog is a 9-year-old yellow lab named Cheney! Short Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
These fires! Earlier today, I saw a guy selling maps to where the stars homes used to be.
The firemen called today and said they were able to save your crops. I don’t know what that means. "Joke of the Day"
The fires in the valley, it like they started all at once. All over the valley. You don’t think this is part of the government's war on pornography, did you ever think of that?
On MSNBC the other night, Alabama State Senator Hank Erwin said he believes the hurricanes that hit New Orleans were sent by God to punish people for sin, gambling and wickedness. That's crazy, God doesn't send hurricanes to punish people - he sends FEMA. Short Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
Well there’s a new hurricane that hit Mexico on this past Saturday. The good news, nobody had to evacuate because they’re already here. "Joke of the Day"
Rumor has it that President Bush has started drinking again. Do you know what that means...all the decisions he’s made up until now...he’s been sober. "Joke of the Day"
According to "People” magazine, Lance Armstrong paid $10,000 for his dog to have open heart surgery. The dog is a 9-year-old yellow lab named Cheney! Short Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
Monday, October 03, 2005
Joke of the Day
Friday September 30th, 2005 Joke of the Day
Welcome to Los Angeles. Where it’s not the itching, it’s the burning that’s bothering us now.
Oh my God! Do you believe these fires?! In one day we’ve gone from a blue state to a red state.
In fact, there is so much smoke and soot in the air you can’t even see the smog.
People are doing whatever they can to stay safe. Like today William Shatner switched to an asbestos toupee.
- Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes, Really Funny jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
Today "The New York Times” reporter Judy Miller was released from jail. They had to release her to make room and Tom Delay.
President Bush is asking people to conserve gasoline and only drive when it is absolutely 100% necessary: for example, if you live in Los Angeles, stay off the freeway unless you have to shoot somebody.
According to the national enquirer, president bush has started drinking again. You know who I feel sorry for, Barbara Bush. Her son’s hitting the bottle and her husband’s hanging out with Bill Clinton. She’s the one who should be drinking.
Meanwhile, Dick Cheney and his oil company buddies are going to appear on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
A White House spokesman has announced that Dick Cheney’s recovery is exceeding his doctor’s expectations. Which means – he’s still alive.
- Clean Funny Jokes, Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Welcome to Los Angeles. Where it’s not the itching, it’s the burning that’s bothering us now.
Oh my God! Do you believe these fires?! In one day we’ve gone from a blue state to a red state.
In fact, there is so much smoke and soot in the air you can’t even see the smog.
People are doing whatever they can to stay safe. Like today William Shatner switched to an asbestos toupee.
- Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes, Really Funny jokes, Clean Funny Jokes
Today "The New York Times” reporter Judy Miller was released from jail. They had to release her to make room and Tom Delay.
President Bush is asking people to conserve gasoline and only drive when it is absolutely 100% necessary: for example, if you live in Los Angeles, stay off the freeway unless you have to shoot somebody.
According to the national enquirer, president bush has started drinking again. You know who I feel sorry for, Barbara Bush. Her son’s hitting the bottle and her husband’s hanging out with Bill Clinton. She’s the one who should be drinking.
Meanwhile, Dick Cheney and his oil company buddies are going to appear on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”
A White House spokesman has announced that Dick Cheney’s recovery is exceeding his doctor’s expectations. Which means – he’s still alive.
- Clean Funny Jokes, Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Funny Jokes. Really Funny Jokes
Good gossip this week – according to the "National Enquirer”, President Bush has started drinking again...boy he’ll do anything to get Ted Kennedy’s support for his Supreme Court nominee.
Bush drinking again. That can’t be good news for North Korea!
Good news - the price of gasoline dropped this week. No wonder Dick Cheney was in the hospital.
As you heard – Vice President Dick Cheney had surgery over the weekend. Luckily it was a huge success. He had 18 organs replaced.
Some good news – the Bush administration captured the number one terror suspect yesterday. Anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan.
You know who she is, Cindy Sheehan? She was the mother who was demonstrating down there in Texas. She was arrested at the White House yesterday for sitting down doing nothing and refusing to move. If that’s case why didn’t they arrest the white house energy advisers?
A lot of people think global warming is causing these terrible hurricanes. See I think we should stop global warming, we should move in the other direction: towards a second ice age. Think about this: if giant glaciers were coming at us at like an inch a year, then the government would have time to respond, we could figure out a plan.
John Kerry said he was never clear about where John Roberts stood on the issues and for that reason he’s not voting for him. That’s the same reason Roberts didn’t vote for Kerry.
Today Donald Trump announced his wife is pregnant. Actually, he announced the creation of Trump the embryo.
They said they don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it doesn’t have trump’s hair.
Bush drinking again. That can’t be good news for North Korea!
Good news - the price of gasoline dropped this week. No wonder Dick Cheney was in the hospital.
As you heard – Vice President Dick Cheney had surgery over the weekend. Luckily it was a huge success. He had 18 organs replaced.
Some good news – the Bush administration captured the number one terror suspect yesterday. Anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan.
You know who she is, Cindy Sheehan? She was the mother who was demonstrating down there in Texas. She was arrested at the White House yesterday for sitting down doing nothing and refusing to move. If that’s case why didn’t they arrest the white house energy advisers?
A lot of people think global warming is causing these terrible hurricanes. See I think we should stop global warming, we should move in the other direction: towards a second ice age. Think about this: if giant glaciers were coming at us at like an inch a year, then the government would have time to respond, we could figure out a plan.
John Kerry said he was never clear about where John Roberts stood on the issues and for that reason he’s not voting for him. That’s the same reason Roberts didn’t vote for Kerry.
Today Donald Trump announced his wife is pregnant. Actually, he announced the creation of Trump the embryo.
They said they don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it doesn’t have trump’s hair.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Really Funny Jokes
Yesterday President Bush made his fifth visit to the area that received the most damage from Hurricane Katrina. In other words, the White House.
--Conan O'Brien Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes
This is a note President Bush wrote to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. They were at a Security Council meeting in New York...It says: 'I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?' I didn't even know he was potty trained. At least he asked. Clinton would have just whipped it out right there."
--Jimmy KimmelShort Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Daily Jokes, Jokes of The Day
--Conan O'Brien Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Joke of the Day, Daily Jokes
This is a note President Bush wrote to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. They were at a Security Council meeting in New York...It says: 'I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?' I didn't even know he was potty trained. At least he asked. Clinton would have just whipped it out right there."
--Jimmy KimmelShort Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Daily Jokes, Jokes of The Day
Funny Sayings
Funny Sayings
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Funny Sayings
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Funny Sayings
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Clean Funny Jokes
Clean Funny Jokes, Funny Jokes, "Joke of the Day"
President Bush spoke tonight to the nation about the problems with the relief effort. And afterwards, Kanye West gave the rebuttal.
To President Bush's credit, earlier tonight in a speech to the nation, he took the blame for the slow relief effort for Hurricane Katrina. In fact, he said, because of this, he probably will not run for a 3rd term.
Jay Leno Short Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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