"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No'."
- Short Funny Jokes by Woody Allen Funny Jokes
"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."
- Funny Jokes Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
- Funny Jokes by Woody Allen