New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: Oil companies must stop with the advertisements implying they're friends of the environment. [laughter] [applause] “At ExxonMobil, we care about a thriving wildlife.” Please, the only thing an oil executive has in common with a seagull is that they would both steal French fries from a baby.
Short Funny Jokes, Really Funny Jokes, Clean Funny Jokes